Tag Archives: writing humor

cARtOONSdAY: “wOULD yOU?”

Would not have it any other way.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Sheepish”

Two sheep gather in a meadow.

Sheep one: “Did you meet the comic writer who moved in to the old house in the valley?”

Sheep two: “I have and I’m not am-ewe-used.”

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

cARtOONSdAY: “cONSTANCY”

Sometimes, it's too hard to hang in there.

Sometimes, it’s too hard to hang in there.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Offer”

Author to his agent: “What’s the latest on my manuscript?”

Agent to author: “I sent it out to six publishers at the same time hoping to stir up the most interest in the shortest amount of time. But no response yet.”

Author, thinking the agent is trying to start a bidding war for his masterpiece. “Maybe you’re asking too much.”

Agent to author: “I offered it to them for free.”

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

cARtOONSdAY: “nIBBLE”

It was not such a crummy idea after all.

It was not such a crummy idea after all.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, CarToonsday

cARtOONSdAY: “cOURSE wORK”

Online or maybe at a retreat near you. We'll see. The author hasn't quite decided.

Online or maybe at a retreat near you. We’ll see. The author hasn’t quite decided.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Dueling puns, part 7: math”

Two writers who didn’t like each other met in a bar, as such writers often do. Each claimed it was his favorite bar and each claimed he had found it first. After several months of glowering at each other and bad mouthing each other, they agree to settle the matter with a duel of puns.

Since the short writer won the sixth round (by reason of plagiarism by the tall writer), the tall writer was allowed to go first for round six. A set of cards was placed on the table between them, face down. On each card was a subject. The short writer flipped the card over and the subject was math.

Props were allowed, and for each turn, each writer could make one phone call.
For round seven, the rules of round six were kept in place. For round six and five, the rules had been amended. Each writer had to say his pun and the audience would get to pick which one they preferred. The bartender, a waiter, and a waitress would be the judges as to who got the loudest groan.

After thinking a moment, the tall writer said, “All lives mater.”

This immediately drew a moan from the crowd, and not a kind one.

“Until you multiply yourselves times the speed of light squared. Then you be energy.”

The groans turned to some chuckles and a few laughs.

The short writer waited until things were quiet, then he said, “Two knights walked into a room where there was a round table. The young knight turns to the older one and asks, ‘Who built this fine table?’ The older knight replies, ‘Sir Cumference.’”

The crowd groaned, twice, and somebody laughed.

Round seven was about to go to the short writer. The short writer now had 3 wins, 2 losses, and 2 ties.” The tall writer also had 2 wins, 3 losses, and 2 ties.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, Monday morning writing joke