Two writers who didn’t like each other met in a bar, as such writers often do. Each claimed it was his favorite bar and each claimed he had found it first. After several months of glowering at each other and bad mouthing each other, they agree to settle the matter with a duel of puns.
Since the short writer won the ninth round, the tall writer was allowed to go first for round nine. A set of cards was placed on the table between them, face down. On each card was a subject. The tall writer flipped the card over and the subject was “animal.”
Props were allowed, and for each turn, each writer could make one phone call.
Each writer had to say his pun and the audience would get to pick which one they preferred. The bartender, a waiter, and a waitress would be the judges as to who got the loudest groan.
After thinking a moment, the tall writer stood and took a deep breath, sucking in air loudly. Then he said, “I was going to tell you a joke about leeches … but they all suck.”
This immediately drew a long moan from the crowd, then a few laughs.
The short writer waited until things were quiet, then he asked for a cat. It took a few moments, but when those arrived, he stood up, held up the cat. “Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? He was a cheetah.”
The crowd hesitated, then groaned, and there were a few laughs, particularly after the cat started hissing and tried scratching the short writer.
It was close, but round 10 went to the tall writer. The tall writer now had 4 wins, 4 losses, and 2 ties.” The short writer also had 4 wins, 4 losses, and 2 ties.