Tag Archives: writing humor

Monday morning writing joke: “The final frontier”

Two writers are working in a room.

The would-be mystery writer keeps scratching her head and staring at her screen as she decides what should happen next.

The struggling science fiction writer repeatedly strikes his computer keyboard with his thumb.

Finally, she looks up and asks: “What are you doing?”

“I keep hitting the space bar,” the guy says, “but I’m still here on Earth.”

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

cARtOONSdAY: “rE-NEW”

The editor suggested Harold try something brand new.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, cartoon by author, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Crossing”

Why did the author cross the road?

I don’t know. Why?

To catch the agent on the other side. Why did the agent cross the road?

I don’t know.

To catch the editor on the other side. Why did the editor cross the road?

Why?

To catch the publisher on the other side. Why did the publisher cross the road?

Okay, why did the publisher cross the road?

He was following the chicken.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Monday (morning) writing joke: “Dueling puns, part 10: animal”

Two writers who didn’t like each other met in a bar, as such writers often do. Each claimed it was his favorite bar and each claimed he had found it first. After several months of glowering at each other and bad mouthing each other, they agree to settle the matter with a duel of puns.

Since the short writer won the ninth round, the tall writer was allowed to go first for round nine. A set of cards was placed on the table between them, face down. On each card was a subject. The tall writer flipped the card over and the subject was “animal.”

Props were allowed, and for each turn, each writer could make one phone call.

Each writer had to say his pun and the audience would get to pick which one they preferred. The bartender, a waiter, and a waitress would be the judges as to who got the loudest groan.

After thinking a moment, the tall writer stood and took a deep breath, sucking in air loudly. Then he said, “I was going to tell you a joke about leeches … but they all suck.”

This immediately drew a long moan from the crowd, then a few laughs.

The short writer waited until things were quiet, then he asked for a cat. It took a few moments, but when those arrived, he stood up, held up the cat. “Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? He was a cheetah.”

The crowd hesitated, then groaned, and there were a few laughs, particularly after the cat started hissing and tried scratching the short writer.

It was close, but round 10 went to the tall writer. The tall writer now had 4 wins, 4 losses, and 2 ties.” The short writer also had 4 wins, 4 losses, and 2 ties.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, Monday morning writing joke

cARtOONSdAY: “wORD tO tHE wISE”

Maybe the key to success is somewhere on this board, he thought.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Animal Crackers”

A writer and an elephant walked into a room. The elephant sat down in a chair and the writer sat down at the desk and began typing.

When the writer was done, he printed out the pages and placed them on the table, then left the room.

The elephant, read the pages, made some notations and other comments, then laid the pages back on the desk.

The writer came back into the room, read it and either nodded or wadded up the pages and threw them in the trash.

This went on for several weeks, then one day another tenant in the office complex asked the writer what he was doing.

“Working on a book.”

“What’s the elephant for?”

The writer said, “He’s my editor. My agent said if I didn’t hire an editor to help me with my writing, she’d never be able to sell my next book.”

“But an elephant?”

“He comes highly recommended and he works for peanuts.”

The tenant started to laugh, then stopped and asked, “Who recommended him?”

“My agent, the jackass.”

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

cARtOONSdAY: “lOST iN a gOOD bOOK”

Anne wasn’t sure which was more pleasing.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, cartoon by author, CarToonsday