Tag Archives: pun

cARtOONSdAY: “aHEAD oF tHE gAME”

Hardly knew him

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July 10, 2018 · 9:22 pm

Monday morning writing joke: “Fool errand”

There once was a man so wise /

he read a book on disguise. /

And to this very day /

when he wants to slip away /

glasses and a mustache he applies. /

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Monday morning writing joke: “A Man of Subtle fun”

There once was man of subtle fun /
Who tried to make puns on the run /
But his display of verbal wit /
Didn’t go over for shit /
And left people mindless minus one.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Haulage of knowledge”

There once was a writer off for college /

All in the pursuit of higher knowledge. /

The four years they say /

Only got in the way /

And caused a great deal of haulage.

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Monday (morning) writing joke: “Assault with a deadly language”

There once was a author from Brisbane /

who thought a writer from Lisbon /

tortured language in a way /

that was “an assault and pepper spray” /

a syntax attack, if not misprision.

 

 

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Monday morning writing joke: “Shocking”

First writer: “Did you hear about the mystery writer whose husband kept asking Alexa for jokes?”

Second writer: “No, what happened?”

First writer: “He was found dead in his bathtub this morning. The police think he was ‘Alexa-cuted.'”

Second writer: “Self-inflicted or murder?”

First writer: “They don’t know, but the police are pretty sure she’ll make book on it.”

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Monday morning writing joke: “Bones of a story”

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost.

Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old Doberman thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!”

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims, “Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

“Whew,” says the lion, “that was close! That old Doberman nearly had me.”

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.

The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” Instead of running, the dog  sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says…

“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion.”

And there you have the bones of a story.

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