New words to live by: “Cackle pants”

It is time, once again, for New words to live by. This is a word or phrase not currently in use in the U.S. English lexicon, but might need to be considered. Other words, such as obsurd, crumpify, subsus, flib, congressed, and others, can be found by clicking on the tags below. Today’s New Word is created by combing a sound and a noun. Without further waiting, Cackle pants.

Cackle, v. 1. To chatter noisily; prattle. 2. Laugh in a broken, shrill manner. 3. To utter a broken, shrill sound or cry, like a hen.

Pants, n. A loose- (or sometime tight-) fitting garment for the lower part of the body with leg portions that usually reach the ankle.

Cackle pants, n. 1. The sound of slightly stiff new pants, particularly wool, worn for the first time. Sometimes accompanied by static electricity sparks. 2. Somebody who has noisy flatulence. Don’t mind, Uncle Bob, he’s a bit ripe, but that’s because he’s a cackle pants. 3. A politician or person seeking public office who speaks in platitudes, generalities, banalities, conspiracies, circular or empty rhetoric. Sometimes demeaning and often predicting dire consequences if not elected.

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Filed under 2016, new word, New words to live by

Photo finish Friday: “Ode from a deliquescing pumpkin

Ode from a deliquescing pumpkin

Ode from a deliquescing pumpkin

I was once a pumpkin:
Now I am a mess.
The party night is over
And I wait to deliquesce.

The treats have been handed out
Some to children too bold
Who think that a cigarette
Is not a sign you’re too old.

They came in hoards and cars
As if the end of time was near
From close by and far way
Some with the scent of beer.

I was once orange and in my prime
Round and succulent to behold.
But now I deliquesce
As I grow a little mold.

I will not make Thanksgiving
Which I hear is a special holiday
Where pumpkins become pie
And make taste buds say, “Yay!”

I hope you will remember me
As I slump into the earth.
Don’t think of me as too scary
But with a little mirth.

And next year at this time
Decorate one of my kin
And the season of the spooks
Can once again begin.

–by David E. Booker

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Filed under 2016, photo by David E. Booker, Photo Finish Friday, poetry by author

Haiku to you Thursday: “Blanket”

Sun pushes aside /

clouds that blanket the valley: /

morning greets the Earth.

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"You'll look funny at the bottom of a question mark," Gumshoe said.

“You’ll look funny at the bottom of a question mark,” Gumshoe said.

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Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Dueling puns, part 3”

Two writers who didn’t like each other met in a bar, as such writers often do. Each claimed it was his favorite bar and each claimed he had found it first. After several months of glowering at each other and bad mouthing each other, they agree to settle the matter with a duel of puns.

Since the second round was a tie, the short writer was allowed to go first for round three. A set of cards was placed on the table between them, face down. On each card was a subject. The short writer flipped the card over and the subject was grocery store.

The bartender, a waiter, and a waitress would be the judges.

Props were allowed, and for each turn, each writer could make one phone call.

After thinking a moment, the short writer drew a stack of one-dollar bills from his pocket. He was not wealthy. He counted out ten ones. “A man enters a store, buys some groceries, and pays for his purchases. He has some change due and tells the cashier he needs some ones. The cashier responds with what?”

“Everybody needs someone,” the tall writer says. “That’s not very good.”

“You can do better?”

The tall writer thinks for a minute, then says, “That same guy goes back into the store for something he forgot. When he comes back to the same cashier, he is carrying a brown sack of walnuts. The store sells nuts two different ways for different prices. The cashier takes the walnuts, weighs them, and then says, “We have a couple of different ways we sell nuts.”

“Really,” the man said. “I just grabbed a bag. How are they sold?”

The short writer thought for a minute. He scribbled something on a piece of paper, then thought for a minute more.

“Time’s up,” said the bartender. “Do you have a guess?”

“Nut of your business?” the short writer asked.

“No,” the tall writer said, shaking his head, “To half and half not.”

The short writer glowered at the tall writer.

Round three was awarded to the tall writer. Each writer had 1 win, 1 loss, and 1 tie.

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Filed under 2016, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

19 Beautiful Bookstores You Need To Visit In America

Bookshop road trip, anyone?

Source: 19 Beautiful Bookstores You Need To Visit In America

The real question is: Can you ever have too many beautiful bookstores in your life? Yelp identified the best bookstores in the country by looking at both the number of reviews and the star-rating, then hand-selected the most dazzling stores from that list.

So here are 19 incredible bookstores you need to see for yourself, as told by the Yelp users who love books and ambiance just as much as the rest of us.

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Filed under 2016, bookstore

BBC Radio 4 – 21 Shades of Noir: Lee Child on John D MacDonald

The Jack Reacher author Lee Child investigates the unusual life of author John D Macdonald

Source: BBC Radio 4 – 21 Shades of Noir: Lee Child on John D MacDonald

Well worth a listen, for Jack Reacher and Travis McGee fans.

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Filed under 2016, John D. MacDonald, mystery writing