Category Archives: Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing joke: “Write to be wrong”

Q. Why did the non-fiction author break up with the novelist?

A. Because they could agree if fact was stranger than fiction.

 

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Monday morning writing joke: “Once around the block”

A writer goes to his doctor.

Writer: “Doc, can you give me something? I’ve been trying to write for a year now, but can’t get it done.”

Doctor: “Are you saying you suffer from writer’s block?”

Writer: “That’s my story.”

Doctor: “If that’s your story, how can you have writer’s block?”

The writer then goes to his psychiatrist.

Writer: “Doc, can you give me something? I’ve been trying to write for a year now, but can’t get it done.”

Psychiatrist: “Are you saying you suffer from writer’s block?”

Writer: “That’s what I said.”

“Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?”

Psychiatrist: “It means your problems are rooted in your expectations.”

“Yes,” the writer said. “I’m expecting you to help me.”

In desperation the writer goes to his mother.

Writer, in tears: “Mom, I’ve been trying to write for a year now, but can’t get it done.”

Mom: “Why’s that?”

Writer: “I think I suffer from writer’s block.”

Mom: “You know, your Dad had that same problem when I married him, and I was able to help him.”

Writer, his face brightening: “How, Mom, how?!”

Mom: “I had you and the bum had to find a job and go to work.”

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Monday morning writing joke: “Old drunks”

First writer points to two old drunks sitting across the bar: “That’s us in ten years.”

Second writer: “Dipshit, that’s a mirror.”

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Monday morning writing joke: “Flash”

First writer: “My editor told me my flashbacks were so weak they needed new batteries.”

Second writer: “What did you say?”

First writer: “I said, ‘You know, that reminds me of the first time you….’”

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Monday (morning) writing joke: “Regrets”

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” generally mean the same thing … except at a funeral.

[Editor’s note: I apologize for it being late, but I’m not sorry if you don’t get the joke.]

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Monday morning writing joke: “Stop it”

Writer one: “Did you hear about the play about the writer of run-on sentences who committed suicide?”

Writer two: “No.”

Writer one: “It’s a period piece.”

 

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Monday (morning) writing joke: “Faking it”

There once was a writer ignorant of history, /

For whom dates and names were a mystery. /

Did it happen there? /

Did anyone really care? /

It let him tell the story so simplistically.

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