Category Archives: joke by author

Monday morning writing joke: “Write to be wrong”

Q. Why did the non-fiction author break up with the novelist?

A. Because they could agree if fact was stranger than fiction.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing joke: “Once around the block”

A writer goes to his doctor.

Writer: “Doc, can you give me something? I’ve been trying to write for a year now, but can’t get it done.”

Doctor: “Are you saying you suffer from writer’s block?”

Writer: “That’s my story.”

Doctor: “If that’s your story, how can you have writer’s block?”

The writer then goes to his psychiatrist.

Writer: “Doc, can you give me something? I’ve been trying to write for a year now, but can’t get it done.”

Psychiatrist: “Are you saying you suffer from writer’s block?”

Writer: “That’s what I said.”

“Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?”

Psychiatrist: “It means your problems are rooted in your expectations.”

“Yes,” the writer said. “I’m expecting you to help me.”

In desperation the writer goes to his mother.

Writer, in tears: “Mom, I’ve been trying to write for a year now, but can’t get it done.”

Mom: “Why’s that?”

Writer: “I think I suffer from writer’s block.”

Mom: “You know, your Dad had that same problem when I married him, and I was able to help him.”

Writer, his face brightening: “How, Mom, how?!”

Mom: “I had you and the bum had to find a job and go to work.”

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing joke: “Flash”

First writer: “My editor told me my flashbacks were so weak they needed new batteries.”

Second writer: “What did you say?”

First writer: “I said, ‘You know, that reminds me of the first time you….’”

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing joke: “Stop it”

Writer one: “Did you hear about the play about the writer of run-on sentences who committed suicide?”

Writer two: “No.”

Writer one: “It’s a period piece.”

 

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing joke: “Sheepish”

Two sheep gather in a meadow.

Sheep one: “Did you meet the comic writer who moved in to the old house in the valley?”

Sheep two: “I have and I’m not am-ewe-used.”

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing joke: “The ‘it’ question”

A philosopher, a sage, and a writer enter a bar.

“What’ll it be?” the bartender asks the philosopher.

“The ‘it.’ Yes, the ‘it.’ What will ‘it’ be? That is the question for our time.” She then turns and rushes out of the bar to work on that burning question.

Next, the bartender asks the sage: “What’ll it be?”

“‘It’ will be the beginning. ‘It’ will be the end. ‘It’ will be what was before, what is now, and what will be.” He, too, turn and walks out of the room.

The bartender finally turns to the writer, and a little exasperated, says, “You know the question. What’ll it be?”

“I don’t know what ‘it’ will be. ‘It’ could be anything since there is no antecedent noun for ‘it’ to refer to,” the writer says. “But I will be happy with a beer.”

 

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing joke: “Offer”

Author to his agent: “What’s the latest on my manuscript?”

Agent to author: “I sent it out to six publishers at the same time hoping to stir up the most interest in the shortest amount of time. But no response yet.”

Author, thinking the agent is trying to start a bidding war for his masterpiece. “Maybe you’re asking too much.”

Agent to author: “I offered it to them for free.”

Leave a comment

Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke