Monthly Archives: February 2017


But the most difficult part of all was deciding which he loved more.

But the most difficult part of all was deciding which he loved more.


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Filed under 2017, cartoon by author, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “The ‘it’ question”

A philosopher, a sage, and a writer enter a bar.

“What’ll it be?” the bartender asks the philosopher.

“The ‘it.’ Yes, the ‘it.’ What will ‘it’ be? That is the question for our time.” She then turns and rushes out of the bar to work on that burning question.

Next, the bartender asks the sage: “What’ll it be?”

“‘It’ will be the beginning. ‘It’ will be the end. ‘It’ will be what was before, what is now, and what will be.” He, too, turn and walks out of the room.

The bartender finally turns to the writer, and a little exasperated, says, “You know the question. What’ll it be?”

“I don’t know what ‘it’ will be. ‘It’ could be anything since there is no antecedent noun for ‘it’ to refer to,” the writer says. “But I will be happy with a beer.”


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Filed under 2017, joke, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke

Protect Your Library the Medieval Way, With Horrifying Book Curses | Atlas Obscura

Medieval scribes protected their work by threatening death, or worse.

Source: Protect Your Library the Medieval Way, With Horrifying Book Curses | Atlas Obscura

by Sarah Laskow

In the Middle Ages, creating a book could take years. A scribe would bend over his copy table, illuminated only by natural light—candles were too big a risk to the books—and spend hours each day forming letters, by hand, careful never to make an error. To be a copyist, wrote one scribe, was painful: “It extinguishes the light from the eyes, it bends the back, it crushes the viscera and the ribs, it brings forth pain to the kidneys, and weariness to the whole body.”

Given the extreme effort that went into creating books, scribes and book owners had a real incentive to protect their work. They used the only power they had: words. At the beginning or the end of books, scribes and book owners would write dramatic curses threatening thieves with pain and suffering if they were to steal or damage these treasures.

They did not hesitate to use the worst punishments they knew—excommunication from the church and horrible, painful death. Steal a book, and you might be cleft by a demon sword, forced to sacrifice your hands, have your eyes gouged out, or end in the “fires of hell and brimstone.”

“These curses were the only things that protected the books,” says Marc Drogin, author of Anathema! Medieval Scribes and the History of Book Curses. “Luckily, it was in a time where people believed in them. If you ripped out a page, you were going to die in agony. You didn’t want to take the chance.”

Drogin’s book, published in 1983, is the most thorough compendium of book curses ever compiled. A cartoonist and business card designer, Drogin had taken an adult-education class in Gothic letters and became entranced with medieval calligraphy. While researching his first book, he came across a short book curse; as he found more and more, hidden in footnotes of history books written in the 19th century, his collection grew to include curses from ancient Greece and the library of Babylon, up to the Renaissance.

To those historians, the curses were curiosities, but to Drogin they were evidence of just how valuable books were to medieval scribes and scholars, at a time when even the most elite institutions might have libraries of only a few dozen books.

The curse of excommunication—anathema—could be simple. Drogin found many examples of short curses that made quick work of this ultimate threat. For example:

May the sword of anathema slay
If anyone steals this book away.

Si quis furetur,
Anathematis ense necetur.

If a scribe really wanted to get serious, he might threaten “anathema-maranatha”—maranatha indicating “Our Lord has Come” and serving as an intensifier to the basic threat of excommunication. But the curses could also be much, much more elaborate. “The best threat is one that really lets you know, in specific detail, what physical anguish is all about. The more creative the scribe, the more delicate the detail,” Drogin wrote. A scribe might imagine a terrible death for the thief:

“If anyone take away this book, let him die the death; let him be fried in a pan; let the falling sickness and fever size him; let him be broken on the wheel, and hanged. Amen.”

Or even more detailed:

“For him that stealeth, or borroweth and returneth not, this book from its owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand & rend him. Let him be struck with palsy & all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain crying aloud for mercy, & let there be no surcease to his agony till he sing in dissolution. Let bookworms gnaw his entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not, & when at last he goeth to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him for ever.”

Drogin’s book had dozens of such curses in it, and he had collected at least a dozen more to include in the second edition, which was never published. Inside his copy of the book, he still has a baggie of antique file cards, full of book curses.

As Drogin collected curses, he started to find repeats. Not all scribes were creative enough to write their own curses. If you’re looking for a good, solid book curse, one that will serve in all sorts of situations, try this popular one out. It covers lots of bases, and while it’s not quite as threatening as bookworms gnawing at entrails, it’ll get the job done:

“May whoever steals or alienates this book, or mutilates it, be cut off from the body of the church and held as a thing accursed.”

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Filed under 2017, books, library

New words to live by: “Awesomocity”

Time, once again, for New words to live by. This is a word or phrase not currently in use in the U.S. English lexicon, but might need to be considered. Other words, such as obsurd, crumpify, subsus, flib, congressed, and others, can be found by clicking on the tags below. Today’s New Word is created by combing an adjective and a noun. Without further waiting, Awesomocity.

Awesome, adj. 1. Inspiring an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, or fear. 2. Exhibiting or marked by awe.

Velocity, n. 1. Swiftness, speed, rapidity of motion. 2. Mechanics. The rate of change of position of a body in a specified direction.

Awesomocity, n. The speed and direction with which your awesomeness becomes known to others.

His awesomocity was so fast and complete, it was almost impossible to tell where it began and where it ended. It seemed to be instantaneous: everywhere and all at once.

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Haiku to Thursday: “Prefer”

Some prefer answers. /

Others prefer the questions. /

Flowers prefer bees.


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Filed under 2017, Haiku to You Thursday, photo by David E. Booker, poetry by author

Writing tip Wednesday: “New Agency to Consider”

New Agency to consider

kt literary

From their website: Books aren’t just what we do, they’re who we are. We become the sum total of our reading experiences – the romance, the adventures, the coming-of-age, the fantasy, the dare-to-believe. At kt literary, we want to be more.

It's not too late to start your novel.

It’s not too late to start your novel.

Madeleine L’Engle once said, “You have to write whichever book it is that wants to be written. And then, if it’s going to be too difficult for grown-ups, you write it for children.” Write for children. Write for adults. Write for yourself. And then, when you’re ready to find a literary agent to take your work to the next level, think of us.

kt literary is a full-service literary agency operating out of Highlands Ranch, in the suburbs of Denver, Colorado, where every major publishing house is merely an email or phone call away. We believe in the power of new technology to connect writers to readers, and authors to editors. We bring over a decade of experience in the New York publishing scene, an extensive list of contacts, and a lifetime love of reading to the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.

And did we mention our boundless optimism?


Agents and what they are looking for:
We’re thrilled to be actively seeking new clients with great writing, unique stories, and complex characters, for middle grade, young adult, and adult.

Kate is looking only at young adult and middle grade fiction and selective nonfiction.

Sara seeks authors in middle grade, young adult, and adult romance, erotica, science fiction, and fantasy.

Renee is looking for young adult and middle grade fiction only.

Hannah is interested in speculative fiction in young adult, middle grade, and adult.

To query us, please select one of the agents at kt literary at a time. If we pass, you can feel free to submit to another. Please email your query letter and the first three pages of your manuscript in the body of the email to either Kate at, Sara at, Renee at, or Hannah at

The subject line of your email should include the word “Query” along with the title of your manuscript. Queries should not contain attachments. Attachments will not be read, and queries containing attachments WILL be deleted unread. We aim to reply to all queries within two weeks of receipt. For examples of query letters, please feel free to browse the About My Query archives on this site.

In addition, if you’re an author who is sending a new query, but who previously submitted a novel to us for which we requested chapters but ultimately declined, please do say so in your query letter.

If we like your query, we’ll ask for the first five chapters and a complete synopsis. For our purposes, the synopsis should include the full plot of the book including the conclusion. Don’t tease us. Thanks!

We are not accepting snail mail queries at this time. If you have an aversion to email, perhaps we’re not the best agency for you. We also do not accept pitches on social media.


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Filed under 2017, writing tip, Writing Tip Wednesday


Sometimes, it's too hard to hang in there.

Sometimes, it’s too hard to hang in there.

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Filed under 2017, CarToonsday