Monday morning writing joke: “Greetings”

An older writer a bit down on his writing luck, takes a job as a greeter at Walmart to make ends meet. He tells himself that it is only for a little while, until freelance work picks back up, but even he is surprised when it only lasted one day.

The next day he walks into his favorite little dive and orders a tea. One of his writing friends is there.

“Hey,” his friend said, “I thought you’d be a work.”

“I should be,” the writer says, “but it didn’t work out.”

“What happened?

The writer hesitates, then shrugs his shoulders and says: “Yesterday was my first solo day. About halfway into my shift, a mean, loud woman, cigarette dangling from her mouth, barges into the store, hurling obscenities at the two kids she has in tow.

“I smile and try to calm down the situation by saying, ‘Good morning and welcome to Walmart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

“I knew they weren’t just from the way one looked older than the other, but thought no harm in letting her to another subject.

“The woman stopped yell at them and turned her attention and mouth to me. ‘Hell no, moron, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 10 and the other one is seven. You blind or just plain stupid?’

“Now, I did my best to hold my tongue, but I just couldn’t help myself. I said, ‘Ma’am, I’m neither blind nor stupid. I just can’t believe that someone drank enough beer and was still able to keep it up twice to have sex with you. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart.’

“My supervisor told me I was probably in the wrong line of work.”

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Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke

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