Nashville, TN — As part of the streamlining and outsourcing of state government, Tennessee Republican Governor Bill Haslam met with the press to reveal his latest innovation to save time and money.
“From now on,” Governor Haslam said, “there will be only one mouthpiece. As we are all GOP with super-majorities in both the state senate and house, and in an effort to effectively speak with one voice, there will now only be one official mouthpiece. As governor, I will control it 60 percent of the time. State Senate Majority leader Ron Ramsey will control it 20 percent of the time and Tennessee House of Representative Speaker Beth Harwell will control it 20 percent of the time. The other 10 percent of the time it will be resting.”
When questioned about the addition adding up to 110 percent and not 100 percent, the Governor differed answering to his brother, whose company is in line to take over the numerical issues for the state, including getting more for less and pocketing the difference.
When asked about this new plan, both Senator Ramsey and Speaker Harwell were mum on the subject, as it wasn’t either of their turns to have access to the official mouthpiece.