Q: What did the vampire say to his female plastic surgeon?
A: “I just want a little nibble and suck.”
Man in a dark suit walks into a bar and orders a Bloody Mary.
The bartender refuses to serve him.
Another fellow at the bar calls the bartender over and asks him, “You make Bloody Marys here. Why won’t you serve him one?”
The bartender says: “He’s a real vampire and he wants a real Bloody Mary. I’m already down two waitresses this week. I can’t afford to lose another. Besides, he doesn’t tip all that well.”
A cactus and a vampire walk into a bar. Then in walks a woman with blood stains on her clothes. She looks over at the two of them and can’t decide who’s the bigger pricker of her.