Tag Archives: Random Access Thoughts

Writing a novel…

Writing a novel is …

Simple.

Deceptive.

Seductive.

And an Act of Defiance.

That’s why so many feel they can do it, and why so few do it successfully.

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Filed under writing, writing tip

Unwise wit: Pain of a different sort

Wise author Paul Coelho writes: Contrary to glasses and windows, a broken heart remains intact.

Unwise wit responds: That’s because it’s a pain of a different sort.

The window pain

The window pain ... in The Twilight Zone.

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Filed under pain, Paul Coelho, wit, Woirds to live by, word play, words, writer

Nothing and the Philosopher

Do Nothing and do it one piece at a time.

Doing nothing should not be rushed.

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Filed under Cartoon, humor, Philosopher

Just a thought

Too many politicians, in an attempt to catch fire in the voters’ imagination, do nothing but stoke the fires of the voters’ fears. –from the blog editor

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Filed under politicians, politics, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought

The misunderstood PPE gargles

The misunderstood PPE gargles
Are related to the ancient fargles.
They live in a land
Of neither rock nor sand,
But they fit over eyes like sparkles.

These oddly named PPE gargles
Can only be worn by gargoyles.
When they sit on the edge
Of a building or ledge
The gargles give their eyes stargles.

These stargles come out in the night
When there is no moon or no light.
And only the gargoyles can see
With their gargles PPE
All the wonders and terrible frights.

Fargles were gargles of a time
When the gargoyles lived in the brine.
And all they could see
Without the fargles that be
Was the salt, the sea, and the grime.

Gargoyle with his PPE gargles

Gargoyle with his PPE gargles

Now armed with their PPE gargles
Gargoyles with stare at their stargles
They will sit on their ledge
Whole worlds in their heads.
And nary burp, nor chirp, nor hargle.

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Filed under abreviation, absurdity, animals, Cartoon, fargles, fun, gargles, gargoyle, Halloween, holiday, humor, imagination, poem, poetry, PPE, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, story poem, word play, words, writing

Quote of the day — programming

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
–Rich Cook

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Filed under absurdity, computer, fun, humor, idiot-proof, programming, quote, Quote of the day, Rich Cook, software, Universe, word play

Brother, can you spare a controversy?

“Change is one thing, progress is another. ‘Change’ is scientific, ‘progress’ is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.” ~ Bertrand Russell

If still alive, I wonder what Bertrand Russell would make of Rick Perry and a host of others, mostly conservative Republicans, who find climate change dubitable indeed. Then again, Perry and company don’t have much truck with science. Progress as they define it is not a matter of controversy. Change, however, is. And if they have to change the way they think or act or the truck they drive, well, that’s the most controversial of all.

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Filed under Bertrand Russell, change, controversy, GOP, Philosopher, politicians, progress, Quote of the day, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, Republicans, responsibility

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to abbreviate

From the local newspaper, two TV listings that caught my eye:

(COOK) Extra Virgin Gabriele and Debi get chickens from fresh eggs.

[Is this an example of the philosophical conundrum: which came first, the chicken or the (fresh) egg?]

(HGTV) Donna Decorates Dallas A teen wants a rich, Texas hunting lodge-style in his room.

[I guess it wasn't enough that Debbie did Dallas already, now it has to be decorated in a rich, Texas hunting lodge style. And for a teen, no less.]

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Filed under abbreviations, absurdity, humor, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, TV listings, word play, words

The Kibitizer and the Kidd, part 3

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The apothecary was almost done making the cough drops, but the Kibitzer was tired of watching. He ho-hummed to himself, took another bite of some slightly stale popcorn, and decided watching was not always what he had pictured it would be. It was a very unpleasant observation and it did not sit well him or his stomach. The popcorn didn’t help. He belched once in hopes of relief.

It was during the descent of the belch out of his mouth that he heard what sounded like a pop, saw the delivery boy run out of the saloon, and then watched as lightning tripped the light fantastic across the kid’s body.

He then saw another two or three people scurry out of the saloon as if escaping an unpleasantry, like a distant relative’s interminable funeral or a spelling bee where they were next up and the word was interminable.

The Kibitzer forgot all about the cough drops and stepped outside, glancing toward the sky as if somehow he could observe a bolt of lightning before it hit him, and then considered running through the rain to the other side of the street.

That’s when a young lady came up and kneed him in the groin.

The Kibitzer dropped to the wooden sidewalk, balled up, and began rocking back and forth as if it might dissipate the pain.

“My name’s Bonnie,” she said, leaning over him. “No man leaves my apothecary without payin’ for what he ordered.”

“I wasn’t leaving,” the Kibitzer said, his teeth still clenched.

Finally, he rolled over onto all fours.

“Didn’t you see the kid out there? He got struck by lightning?”

Bonnie shrugged. “Happens a lot lately. He’ll be okay. Nobody in this town dies anymore. Been bad for my business, I tell you.”

The Kibitzer was again standing fully erect, if feeling a little tender. The rain had slackened to almost a light drizzle.

“We already lost two undertakers and the saw bones has gone back to yankin’ teeth. If it weren’t for medicinals for that, I’d probably be blowin’ in the wind, too.” She then slipped him the bill for the cough drops.

The Kibitzer looked at it. “What, no discount for the laying on of hands?”

She smiled at him, then raised her hand. In the muddled light of the evening, she still looked quite menacing. “I didn’t finish.”

The Kibitzer paid her and gave her a generous tip.

He then dashed out into the rain, forgetting the cough drops.

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Filed under absurdity, fun, humor, kibitzer, kidd, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, satire, story, western, word play, writing

Apropos of nothing at all

Oh, if my client weren’t thin,

I might try again

To give ol’ Ozzie a wondrous spin.

But as it stands now,

I’d have to be more than a cow

To udderly grasp the glass teat, oh how?

And if I chocked the chicken

It might take a lickin’

And come round a pickin’

a row

with the cow

or a sow

somehow.

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Filed under absurdity, animals, cow, humor, Ozzie, poem, poetry, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, word play, words