Tag Archives: poem

Limerick: “$catology”

There once was a woman in scatology /

who proceeded to take a class in tautology./

“$h!t, $h!t, $h!t,” she said./

She said shaking her head./

She passed the final test without apology.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Sweet smell”

Thank you. The sweet smell /

of your perfume brightens my /

days behind the fence.

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The midnight swim of Grace

Recently, in my hometown of Knoxville, TN, a 23-year-old woman by the name of Evelyn Grace Radford, supposedly fortified by wine and fit of limb and wind, swam not the English Channel, but the more modest Fort Loudoun Lake (sometimes referred to as Fort Loudoun Embayment. Named for an Englishman of noble lineage who never saw it and probably cared not a whit about it).

To add daring to her do, she did so in the dark of night and in no more than her bra and panties. If you do not believe me, you can read the article below or follow the link for the full story, assuming you are not stopped by some pay wall. She successfully swam the Lake, Embayment (sometimes also called the Tennessee River because this were the River starts), but was greeted by police and rescue squad personnel who had been called to the scene for fear that she had fallen in and might be drowning.

The event inspired the following modest poetic verse:

There once was a lady named Grace /
Who did the breast stroke all out-of-place. /
She swam the river with flair /
Scantily in her underwear. /
Alas, the newspaper showed only her face.

Grace's mug shot

Grace’s mug shot

KNOXVILLE — A 23-year-old Knoxville woman told police late Monday night she “just wanted to swim” after making her way across Fort Loudoun Lake wearing only a bra and panties.

Evelyn Grace Radford’s near-midnight jump into the water at Volunteer Landing, however, prompted calls of a drowning to authorities who launched boats to rescue the scantily clad woman.

Her actions also prompted charges of disorderly conduct and public intoxication, records show.

Authorities were alerted at 11:54 p.m. that an intoxicated woman had stripped down to her basic clothing and jumped into the water and was swimming to the south shore, according to Knoxville Police Department Sgt. Scott Coffey.

“She left her clothing with her boyfriend at Volunteer Landing and he abruptly left the area,” Coffey said. “The witnesses indicated they believed the couple were in an argument prior to her jumping in the water.”

For the rest of the story: http://www.knoxnews.com/news/watchful-eye/midnight-swim-nets-charges-against-scantily-clad-woman_69968857

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Photo finish Friday: “The Preacher and the Creature”

The preacher and the creature: a hirsute tale

The preacher and the creature: a hirsute tale

The preacher and the creature
were creeping around the wilds.
The preacher and the creature
were a contrast in styles.

The preacher had a squint;
the creature had a smirk.
The preacher gave out hints;
the creature walked herkyjerk.

They roamed the wilds together,
though rarely arm in arm
for the creature’s hide of leather
could do the preacher harm.

Yet one day he tried a saddle
upon the creature’s back
and with a little paddle
he gave a gentle whack.

Now, let this be a tale of care
for all who go astray:
the preacher had a full head of hair
until that fateful day.

That little whack, it came back
with a much bigger response.
The creature went on the attack
and sent out a fiery launch.

And when the smoke had cleared
upon that faith filled day
the preacher had a beard,
but no hair to comb away.

///
photo by Chris Buice
poem by David E. Booker

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Echo”

Your echo lives large /

a river rushed canyon /

surging through my life.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “I am”

The Earth says, “I am.”

Rivers flowing to oceans

Waves echoing now.

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Stacey-I-am

Tennessee state Senator Stacey Campfield

Tennessee state Senator Stacey Campfield

I am Stacey.
Stacey I am.

That Stacey-I-am!
That Stacey-I-am!
Do you not like
That Stacey-I-am?

Do you not like
My flavor of ham?

I do not like you
Stacey-I-am
I do not like
Your favor of ham.

Would you like it
Here or there?

I would not like it
Here or there.
I would not like it
Anywhere.
I do not like
Your flavor of ham.
I do not like it,
Stacey-I-am.

Would you like it
In a senate or a house?
Would you like it
With a correct spouse?

I would not like it
In a senate or a house
I would not like it
And neither does my spouse.
I do not like it
Here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like your flavor of ham.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

Would you like it
In a box?
Would you like it
On Faux News Fox?

Not in a box.
Not on Faux News Fox.
Not in a senate or a house.
Not with my spouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like your flavor of ham.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
In a stadium?
I could wear a mask
And create some mayhem.

I would not, could not
In a stadium.

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
On TV!

I would not, could not on TV.
Not in a stadium! You let me be.
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it on Faux News Fox.
I do not like it in a senate or a house.
I do not like it with a correct spouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like your flavor of ham.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

A plane! A plane!
Could you, would you
On a plane?
The monkey can fly while I explain.

Not on a plane! Not in a stadium!
Not in a mask! Stacey, stop the mayhem!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, on Faux News Fox.
I will not and neither will my spouse.
I will not like you in a senate or a house.
I will not like you here or there.
I will not like you anywhere.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Though from the dark
Is where you hark.

Would you, could you,
on voting day?
We can starve children
And “Don’t Say Gay.”

I would not, could not, on voting day.
Not in the dark. Not in any way,
Not in a stadium, Not on TV.
I do not like you, Stacey, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with my spouse or Faux News Fox.
Not in a plane. Not in a mask.
I do not like you, so don’t ask.
I do not like you here or there.
I do not like you anywhere!

I do not like
Your type of ham.
I do not like you
Stacey-I-am.

So when it comes
Election day
I’ll pull the lever
And send you away.

Stacey Campfield on TV.

Stacey Campfield on TV.

–with apologies to Dr. Seuss. Parody by David E. Booker

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