Tag Archives: Halloween

Haiku to you Thursday: “Big Deal”

O’ jack-o’-lantern /

spits seeds, blows smoke, swallows flame /

for a night’s desire.

Desire for sale.

Desire for sale.

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Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, Photo by author, poetry by author

The 50 Scariest Books of All Time – Flavorwire

The 50 Scariest Books of All Time – Flavorwire.

Give scary books to trick-or-treaters. See how long they keep coming back.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Too ugly to be seen.”

There once was a man so mean /

his face was too ugly to be seen. /

He was banned from sight /

so as not to give fright — /

except for the night called Halloween.

The man and his amulet.

The man and his amulet.

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Photo finish Friday: “Masked desires”

He didn’t understand why people were avoiding him. Granted, he had gotten up late, so he had to skip a few of the normal morning rituals, but he had showered the night before and brushed his teeth before he went to bed. And thus far this morning, he’d only had half a cup of tea. So, what was the big deal? His hair may have been a bit of a tangle, but his clothes were fresh.

He couldn’t understand it.

Then he understood it even less: women he didn’t know and had never met began giving him that slightly coy, come hither look. The one that starts with her glancing away when their eyes first meet, then with her head slightly cocked and her eyes slightly closed, she turns her gaze back to him and smiles that promisingly wicked half smile. One woman even circled her tongue over her lips.

They weren’t the type of women who were usually attracted to him, so why now?

He went to rest room in his office to comb his hair. Maybe they were making fun of him. That’s when he looked in the mirror.

He was frightened.

No, he was scared!

How could this be? Whom had he offended? What deity or person with near-divine powers had done this to him?

He tried to make a mental list of who could have done this to him. It was as much a list of distraction as a true list of candidates. There was Elinor over in accounting, whom he had snubbed at a company gathering. Not on purpose, but just the same. Then there was Bob, his neighbor, whose cat was always digging in his flowers. Not that he liked flowers all that much, but he liked the cat even less. And…

Sometimes the new you is thrust upon you.

Sometimes the new you is thrust upon you.

He finally decided to take a photo of himself. It might help him in finding out what condition, disease, curse he had. So, he did that, and then he decided to go with it. He wasn’t sure why he decided to go with his new-found condition. Maybe it was because it was near Halloween. Maybe it was because, for the first time in ages, women were actually noticing him — and men were frightened. Or maybe it was because it was simply easier this way, and sometimes easier was the way to go.

He only hoped he didn’t wake up with a turkey face as the days left Halloween and drew closer to Thanksgiving.

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Photo finish Friday: “A night, a fright, a bite”

"I want to suck your nuts."

“I want to suck your nuts.”

Under the guise of holiday détente, a contingency of nutcracker vampires met with their counterparts from Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and the other holidays.

Citing how pumpkins and candy are traditionally part of Halloween, the leader of the group said, “If Thanksgiving can have pumpkin pies, and Christmas can have candy canes, I do not see why we can’t have Halloween nutcrackers.”

When advised that they could still not get their way, the Halloween nutcrackers stormed out of the discussions and threatened to “shut down the Holidays until we get our way.”

With Halloween soon approaching, no one is sure if Halloween we care forth on its threat to shut down the Holidays. Stay tuned for late breaking developments.

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Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday

Overheard writing prompt

Elvira: a vixen for Halloween

Elvira: a vixen for Halloween

Recently, in a costume store, among the vixen and femme fatale Halloween costumes, came this plaintive remark from a woman: “This is terrible. They only go up to size 2X.”

What would you do with such a writing prompt?

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Silly Bills

by David E. Booker

O’, Pause and let us now behold
the elected intelligence in all its mold.
Bills run amuck of mind and light:
Sufficient fright for a Halloween night.
And there was more, lest you forget
a bill to take away your right to vote yet
for the U.S. Senator of your choice
Enlightened legislators said, “That’s our voice.”
Only a call from fed Senator Corker
prevented that piece of legislative porker.
Many other state bills ceased to be
because big money donors were displeased.
So, say what you will about money buying votes.
It may not get bills passed; but it can get them smote.

________

Tennessee State flag: 0' what trouble can they conceive when the state GOP is allowed to breathe.

Tennessee State flag: 0′ what trouble can they conceive when the state GOP is allowed to breathe.

NASHVILLE — On the state Senate floor last week, Sen. Brian Kelsey brought up a resolution that he explained as putting senators on record as declaring “if the federal government tries to infringe on our rights as American citizens, then we will intervene and fight for those rights.”

This prompted Senate Majority Leader Mark Norris to ask his fellow Republican how the resolution (SR17) differed from perhaps the most prominent of several bills introduced this year to nullify federal laws and subject federal officers to prosecution should they try to enforce them.

For the rest of the story, follow this link:
http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2013/apr/07/tennessee-gop-supermajority-eases-up-on-silly/

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Filed under GOP, poetry by author, political humor

Cravings

Man in Halloween mask

Trick or Treat

Cravings

Halloween evening.
The dead amongst us this hour
crave “sweets” to devour.

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Filed under haiku, Halloween, humor, monster, poem, poetry

Channeling your inner pumpkin

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Once upon a daytime chilly,
While I pondered things less silly,
Came a knocking at my door
Two pumpkins too ugly to ignore.

I asked them to go and leave me,
I told them staying would not please me.
But all they said was “Ever more.”
All they said was “Ever more.”

I did immediately beseech them,
I did all I could to entreat them
To not come darkening my door.
But all they said was “Ever more.”

I tried to hide from them.
I tried to chide at them.
But all my snides they did ignore.
And all they said was “Ever more.”

I did not know what they had in store.
They did not run; they did not bore.
They did not talk, except “Ever more,”
Until I could not stand it, stand it no more.

I took an axe and I whacked the floor.
Still they stayed close by the door.
And would not say what they wanted me for,
So one became a stew to even the score.

I threw the other into a pie.
Though to this day I know not why.
But ever time at this time of year,
When the days are cool and the nights are clear,

I hear a tapping at my door
And a sound I can’t ignore
It goes on forever more.
And I say nothing, save “Ever more.”

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October 29, 2011 · 12:25 pm

I have a haunted bathroom

I have a haunted bathroom,
A sink that runs with blood.
I have a haunted bathroom,
It’s full of grime and crud.

I have a haunted bathroom,
From toilet nary a stink.
I have a haunted bathroom,
Because a ghost there stops to drink.

I have a haunted bathroom,
Its walls are cracked and old.
I have a haunted bathroom,
It’s a place too scary for mold.

I have a haunted bathroom,
A bathtub full of red.
I have a haunted bathroom,
An alien bathes there it is said.

I have a haunted bathroom
A cracked mirror in which to stare.
I have a haunted bathroom.
It is beyond repair.

I have a haunted bathroom
With a curtain nice and thick.
I have a haunted bathroom,
If you open it, you’ll say, “Ick!”

Haunted bathroom photo

I have a hauted bathroom....

I have a haunted bathroom.
Enter, if you dare.
I have a haunted bathroom,
If you look, the word is there.

I have a haunted bathroom,
With a picture of my home.
I have a haunted bathroom,
A place I like to roam.

I have a haunted bathroom,
Come visit me on Halloween.
I have a haunted bathroom,
The spookiest you’ve ever seen.

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Filed under absurdity, bathroom, fun, Halloween, haunted, humor, poem, poetry, writing