O’ jack-o’-lantern /
spits seeds, blows smoke, swallows flame /
for a night’s desire.
He didn’t understand why people were avoiding him. Granted, he had gotten up late, so he had to skip a few of the normal morning rituals, but he had showered the night before and brushed his teeth before he went to bed. And thus far this morning, he’d only had half a cup of tea. So, what was the big deal? His hair may have been a bit of a tangle, but his clothes were fresh.
He couldn’t understand it.
Then he understood it even less: women he didn’t know and had never met began giving him that slightly coy, come hither look. The one that starts with her glancing away when their eyes first meet, then with her head slightly cocked and her eyes slightly closed, she turns her gaze back to him and smiles that promisingly wicked half smile. One woman even circled her tongue over her lips.
They weren’t the type of women who were usually attracted to him, so why now?
He went to rest room in his office to comb his hair. Maybe they were making fun of him. That’s when he looked in the mirror.
He was frightened.
No, he was scared!
How could this be? Whom had he offended? What deity or person with near-divine powers had done this to him?
He tried to make a mental list of who could have done this to him. It was as much a list of distraction as a true list of candidates. There was Elinor over in accounting, whom he had snubbed at a company gathering. Not on purpose, but just the same. Then there was Bob, his neighbor, whose cat was always digging in his flowers. Not that he liked flowers all that much, but he liked the cat even less. And…He finally decided to take a photo of himself. It might help him in finding out what condition, disease, curse he had. So, he did that, and then he decided to go with it. He wasn’t sure why he decided to go with his new-found condition. Maybe it was because it was near Halloween. Maybe it was because, for the first time in ages, women were actually noticing him — and men were frightened. Or maybe it was because it was simply easier this way, and sometimes easier was the way to go.
He only hoped he didn’t wake up with a turkey face as the days left Halloween and drew closer to Thanksgiving.
Under the guise of holiday détente, a contingency of nutcracker vampires met with their counterparts from Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and the other holidays.
Citing how pumpkins and candy are traditionally part of Halloween, the leader of the group said, “If Thanksgiving can have pumpkin pies, and Christmas can have candy canes, I do not see why we can’t have Halloween nutcrackers.”
When advised that they could still not get their way, the Halloween nutcrackers stormed out of the discussions and threatened to “shut down the Holidays until we get our way.”
With Halloween soon approaching, no one is sure if Halloween we care forth on its threat to shut down the Holidays. Stay tuned for late breaking developments.
by David E. Booker
O’, Pause and let us now behold
the elected intelligence in all its mold.
Bills run amuck of mind and light:
Sufficient fright for a Halloween night.
And there was more, lest you forget
a bill to take away your right to vote yet
for the U.S. Senator of your choice
Enlightened legislators said, “That’s our voice.”
Only a call from fed Senator Corker
prevented that piece of legislative porker.
Many other state bills ceased to be
because big money donors were displeased.
So, say what you will about money buying votes.
It may not get bills passed; but it can get them smote.
NASHVILLE — On the state Senate floor last week, Sen. Brian Kelsey brought up a resolution that he explained as putting senators on record as declaring “if the federal government tries to infringe on our rights as American citizens, then we will intervene and fight for those rights.”
This prompted Senate Majority Leader Mark Norris to ask his fellow Republican how the resolution (SR17) differed from perhaps the most prominent of several bills introduced this year to nullify federal laws and subject federal officers to prosecution should they try to enforce them.
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