Author Archives: David Booker

About David Booker

A brief (and somewhat ambiguous) biography. One hundred words, more or less, about David Booker might include the following: though lost in the cosmos without a compass, he has nonetheless managed to find his way into middle age. As to what he will do now that he is there is still a matter of speculation. He often seeks guidance from his youthful daughter as he alternately approaches and retreats from the slow expansion of his waistline and the slow collapse of Western Civilization as he knows it. He hopes the two will reach a libration (or libation) point and he will creep into old age with some dignity and clothes intact.

cARtOONSDAY: “vICES aND vIRTUES”

Willard faces a low period, or maybe no period at all.

Willard faces a low period, or maybe no period at all.

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Monday morning writing joke: “An Irish priest in Texas”

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this: “Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

“And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann ‘s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. …

Father O’Malley then replied: “Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”

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Famous Writers’ Report Cards: Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, Norman Mailer, E.E. Cummings & Anne Sexton | Open Culture

Famous Writers' Report Cards: Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, Norman Mailer, E.E. Cummings & Anne Sexton | Open Culture.

Famous Writers' Report Cards: Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, Norman Mailer, E.E. Cummings & Anne Sexton | Open Culture.

Now that school has started, it might be interesting to see what authors such as Ernest Hemingway, e.e. cummings, and Norman Mailer, just to name few made on their report cards.

Details located at: http://www.openculture.com/2014/06/famous-writers-report-cards.html

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Photo finish Friday: “the Bugalypse”

They learned from the robots, but they didn't learn enough.

They learned from the robots, but they didn’t learn enough.

First, there was the Artificial Intelligence Revolt (AIR) of 2092. Next, there was the Robot Apocalypse (RoAp) of 2127. Then after the Robots had taken over and mankind was a mere memory, along came the Bugalypse. Having seen how the robots had done it, the bugs engineered their own metal versions of their kind. This allowed them to make even larger versions of themselves than they had ever imagined. There was only one problem: They had forgotten to rust proof their new bodies and for many of the Bugalypse life ended in a rusty metal shell in the middle of a field of flowers. And with it, so did the Bugalypse. Known as the Bugalypse Bust, it was sometimes referred to by its acronym: BuBu (pronounced Boo-Boo).

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Haiku to you Thursday: “See me”

The moon says, “See me.” /

A bridge across the night sky /

phasing light and tides.

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Writing tip Wendesday: “Two more agents to consider”

Catherine Luttinger

Catherine Luttinger

Catherine Luttinger of Darhansoff & Verrill. Catherine recently rejoined the agency and is looking for clients now. Catherine is primarily interested in science fiction and fantasy. To her, that includes anything that could even remotely be labeled as such. Viable submission material includes everything from classic space operas to the apocalypse; alternative universes, dystopias, and eco-thrillers—as well as the paranormal, horror, zombies, plagues, and time travel. She is also willing to look at historical fiction, mythology re-told, YA, thrillers and mysteries. You may also pitch her pop-science nonfiction.

Details and how to contact at: http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/literary-agent-spotlight-catherine-luttinger-of-darhansoff-verrill

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Stacy Testa

Stacy Testa

Stacy Testa joined Writers House in 2011 as an assistant to senior agent Susan Ginsburg and has been actively building her own client list since 2013. Previously, she interned at Farrar, Straus & Giroux and Whimsy Literary. Stacy graduated cum laude with a BA in English from Princeton University. Follow her on Twitter: @stacy_testa.

Stacy is looking for literary fiction and upmarket commercial women’s fiction, particularly character-driven stories with an international setting, historical bent, or focus on a unique subculture. She also represents realistic young adult (no dystopian or paranormal, please!). For nonfiction, she is particularly interested in young “millennial” voices with a great sense of humor and a strong platform, startling and unique memoirs, and voice-driven narratives about little-known historical moments.

Details and how to contact at: http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/new-literary-agent-alert-stacy-testa-of-writers-house

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cARtOONSDAY: “bRAIN sURGERY”

It couldn't be any harder, could it?

It couldn’t be any harder, could it?

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Monday morning writing joke: “Zombies, part 4″

Q.: What type of humor does a zombie like?

A.: Deadpan.

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Q.: What trick does a zombie teach to his dog?

A.: Play dead.

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Q.: Why did the zombie start eating beef?

A.: He thought the label said “Brain fed.”

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Q.: What do you call a zombie with dementia?

A.: A zombie.

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2014 Contest | Knoxville Writers’ Guild

2014 Contest | Knoxville Writers' Guild.

Still time to enter. Deadline has been extended to August 15th.

Categories include Creative Nonfiction, Crime/Mystery. Science Fiction/Fantasy, Novel Except, One Act Play, Short Story, Poetry, Romance, Screenwriting, Young Writer’s Fiction Prize, and Young Writer’s Poetry Prize.

Details located at: http://www.knoxvillewritersguild.org/contest

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New words to live by: “law of the inverse square”

It is the second weekend of the month and time again for a new word to live. This is a word or phrase not currently in use in the U.S. English lexicon, but might need to be considered. Other words, such as obsurd, crumpify, subsus, flib, congressed, and others, can be found by clicking on the tags below. This month’s New Word is related to aging and being a parent: law of the inverse square.

Inverse-square law

Inverse-square law

Inverse-square law = In physics, this means the further you stand from an electromagnetic source (For example, light), the less radiation you will receive? That depends on how far from the source you stand. If you stand two feet further back from where you were, you will receive ¼ th the amount. If you stand six feet back, you will receive 1/36th the amount.

An expression that could elicit "the look."

An expression that could elicit “the look.”

Law of the inverse square = the further you get from your childhood in terms of age and maturity (at least to some degree), the more you will start sounding like at least one of your parents. This can be in tone of voice, mannerisms, phrases, and temperament. In this case, the further away in time you travel, the more pronounced these things become. You become the “square” (parent) you promised yourself you wouldn’t be when you grew up, particularly the stern side of your parents. The law giver

For example, as your child grows up and asks the 20th time why something has to be done, you snap back with the same tone and inflection as your father, “Because I said so.”

Or, if you’re a mother, you give your child “the look,” which was the same look your mother gave you.

Training is not required. It happens, in an eerie, secretive, delayed genetic development sort of way.

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